The Softening Technique

Tae Kwon Do means the way of the hand and the foot, but on some days not MY hands or feet.  I am preparing to test for my red belt in June and my expectations about what I should be able to do at this level are a mite different than the reality. Like many people, I assumed that the closer I got to black belt status, the higher I could kick, the faster I could spar, the more boards I could break with crazy flying kicks. My kicks are a smidge higher and I’m a little faster at sparring and I’ve done some good board breaks, but I still have a long way to go.

Depending on the dojang (school), a black belt can have a lot of different meanings. My favorite meaning is that you are starting to train in advanced techniques and can teach beginners. It is not an end unto itself, but another beginning – an ongoing learning process. Whatever belt level you’re at, you will always be learning, always challenging yourself to be better.

When preparing for an effective move in sparring, you sometimes start with a softening technique, just to throw your partner a little off balance and move in with that great kick or strike that would score points in a tournament. It’s a mental technique as well. Forcing myself to wear white, surrounded by fluorescent lighting and mirrors and teenage classmates, while people watch, has changed me. It’s softened my attitude about who I am and what I am capable of. It’s challenged the hard coding in my head that said “I cannot do that”. I am more willing to be uncomfortable, to look foolish, to try new activities. What’s the worst that can happen? And could it be any worse than trying nothing at all?

I have friends who do yoga even though their legs won’t bend “that way” or who have left old jobs for new ones where their expertise is appreciated or started businesses in their homes, surrounded by boisterous children. There are so many ways to throw yourself just enough off balance that you discover something new and exciting. It’s rewarding to challenge those beliefs about who you are and knock them on their ass. I’m still working on “you don’t look good in white, even before Labor Day”, but it’s not an obstacle to landing an awesome kick.