Here’s what I’d like to say to the rehired and newly hired employees and representatives of the American people:
Campaign Finance Reform
Now. Do it now. Not tomorrow, when you amnesiac shits forget about this maelstrom of waste and start campaigning for 2016.
Make Nice with Your Fellow Legislators
Get off your keisters and cross the aisle. Start talking. Leave your crazy sororities and fraternities of political hacks and “wingers” from either side. Those days should be over. We, the people, are exhausted by your immature playground games.
Let’s Talk About War
People are dying on our behalf – that’s kind of important, isn’t it? I mean, that runs a pretty close second to who gets married in this country. Yeah, let’s go there.
Raise the Unemployment Rate
Fire a political consultant, pundit and public relations coordinator. Fire them in droves. Maybe they can work for the Red Cross or Amnesty International or some organization more valuable than Mr. or Ms. Blowhard Politician or those topsy-turvy think tanks.
Show Us Your Long Game
We’re not stupid. We know that it will take some time to fix these problems. Stop talking immediate fix and reward like we’re Fido waiting on a bone or a toddler playing peek-a-boo. We have visual permanency. We know the problems are there, even when you don’t talk about them.
We decided that you were the person for the job. Please trust our belief that you will take our best interests to heart and take action. Come to us with the issues and possible solutions. Be honest, forthright and timely.
Thank You and Please, Please Get Something Done.