Pop culture never ceases to amaze with its weirdness. The latest craze is an oiled up naked butt picture of Kim Kardashian. My first thought was that she needs a shower with some really good mechanic’s degreaser. She’s not going to be able to sit anywhere for days without leaving an oily butt print. I hope that dress wasn’t a loaner.
I’m not as fascinated with the human body as I was for that five minutes in 1987. While I’ve enjoyed the giggle fest that is taking a couple of 10-year-olds to an art museum, I’m finding the fascination with bodies and porn star sexuality a little tiresome. Social media’s focus on Ms. Kardashian’s keister seems to have no end.
Butts are poop hole covers. And regardless of all the human sexual proclivities, buttocks also house major muscle groups that allow us to run, kick, support our posture while walking on two legs and provide padding for the inordinate amount of sitting we do. So first and foremost, butts are utilitarian and do not exist as separate entities from the rest of our body.
Would you like to see the rest of my collection? Let’s go down to my cellar. I don’t do a show of arms for just anybody. You’re special.
Secondly, regarding humans as disembodied parts is weird – like serial killer weird. People say things like “he/she has a nice butt/ass” and I wonder if they’re planning on starting a collection. I like my husband’s hands, but I really, really like the fact that they are attached to him. I would not like them so much in a display case or on another person.
It’s difficult to separate sexuality from an artistic admiration of the human form, because marketing and pornography have so twisted and conflated the two. Between surgical and digital alterations, it’s hard to recognize that the human form, in its unaltered state, serves a more important purpose than appearance.
Perhaps it seems sour grapes from a middle-aged broad who has never conformed to nor been capable of conforming to cultural ideas of beauty, but I don’t envy beauty – it carries its own burden. What I lack in surface glam, I have in the ability to see people for their personality, character and compassion. Yeah, right – I’m all character. Catcall that.
Being seen as beautiful does not preclude one from having good character and being culturally unattractive is not automatically a sign of having a “nice personality”. I think we can all agree that there are people on both sides of the fence who we’d rather not invite over for dinner.
I would not invite Ms. Kardashian over for dinner. First of all, I don’t know anything about her, except what her poop hole cover looks like. But more importantly, I’d have to put plastic slipcovers on all the furniture.
Administrative Note: The Green Study “What’s on the B Side of that 45?” Contest is revving up with some very thoughtful entries! You have until Sunday, December 7th, 2014, 12:00 pm (US Standard Central Time) to get your entry submitted.
P.S. The combination of thoughts about oiled butts and plastic furniture covers, combined with my middle aged angst, brought this song to mind:
The Green Study 
The song industry lost a gem in you, imagine the song “I Like Big Poop-hole Covers and I cannot lie?” So rhythmic, so catchy.
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If only I could make people think “poop hole cover” every time they looked at Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda cover, then I think I will have contributed positively to the culture at large.
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Love your thoughts on this issue. It took me a long time, but I finally reached the point where I think the form and function of the human body is beautiful. I have wrinkles, and skin growths, and love handles, and all sorts of excess tissue, but you know what? It’s my body and I love it!
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This is of course, a major theme of middle age – you start recognizing the body’s vulnerability. After disrespecting it for many years, I’ve come to recognize the need to honor its functionality and durability. A body tells the story about your life. All the scars and wrinkles are chapters in a book. Read ’em and weep, makers of Botox.
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My body is a road map of where I’ve been and the fun I’ve had getting here. 😀
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So well said! It’s sad that we put so much energy into our what we look like on the outside when in the end it will fade away anyway. Our bodies are there for function and are really just temporary shells.
Something happened when I hit middle age, I care much less what I look like. As a matter of fact, I love wrinkles. I love those gray hairs! To me, it’s a mark of a soul that’s grown and aged and is still confident and comfortable with themselves.
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I’m not going to say I love all the weird shit that is happening to my body as I age. Seriously, those stray hairs growing out of my chin and ears are so NOT cool. But, that being said, I’m not particularly interested in doing anything about it. And I like being able to laugh wickedly at my daughter and say “not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin” while she squeals and runs away. That’s gold there, my friend.
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I’m with ‘ya all the way. The fact than anyone is interested i Kim Kardashian’s ass — oiled or not — depresses me. Get a life people! A real life!
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This post is irony, I suppose, since I did, in fact, for the first time ever, use “Kim Kardashian” as a tag. I’ll try not to do it again! I think some of this celebrity status stuff is so weird lately. I don’t know what these people do – sing, dance, what? I mean, if having an ass is the only requirement, sign me up. I could use the cash.
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HAHAHA! From the little I’ve seen the only requirement is the ass. Let me know how it goes LOL!! Thanks for making my day.
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Great post, Michelle. Kim’s crazy bum shining out everywhere is such a drag. What does it say that our society considers anyone’s ass newsworthy? (Imagine Walter Cronkite reading that copy!) Peace, John
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After reading numerous articles about Ferguson and the sobering outcome there, as well as reading about the UN International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, it seems pithy to write a post like this, but I needed a breather.
It takes time to be analytical and cohesive and well-informed and I think that’s why so many news organizations are falling down on the job. They don’t have the staff to compete against this constant churn of news. It’s easier to write about someone’s butt.
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I’m not what you would classify as a poop-hole cover man. Nor can I be accurately called an infant nourishment dispenser station sort of fellow. No sirree, I’m more of a bilateral lower extremity-functional mobility kind of guy. I’ll take gastocs over gluts any day. Enough about me though, how about this crazy weather?!
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All I know is that I’m not following you into the cellar. You’ll have to get your kicks elsewhere, so leg it, pal.
Weather in Minnesota is situation normal – people driving like they’ve never seen snow and everyone complaining as if cold isn’t a six month deal here.
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So you’re saying that I have to do the laundry myself? Fine!
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Someone else doing the laundry – now that is a fetish I can get behind (you’re welcome, from Puns R Us).
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Media is pond scum—immediate, vast and surface. Keep scraping it aside for us, Michelle. I love the depths beneath!
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I’ve been reading far too many posts and articles about the cultural and feminist relevancy of this lady’s butt, when it strikes me as just being very silly – a caricature of sexuality and nothing new in terms of using the female body for marketing (in this case, the marketing of a person).
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ew.
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Indeed.
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Thank you for your honesty! Can’t wait to read more from you.
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Thanks – and thanks for the re-blog!
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Reblogged this on Finding Real Change and commented:
Real thoughts about “Poop-hole covers” – For a laugh!
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