Brain Blurts on the Treadmill

One of my favorite workout songs is the Foo Fighters “Walk”. It’s a nice warmup piece, starting with motivational lines like Getting good at starting over... and I believe I’ve waited long enough…

What I like most about this song is that it makes me laugh every single time I hear it. It’s the singer’s crescendo to a primal yell of “I never want to die!” that does it. When I’m running on a treadmill at the Y, sweating along with a young, old, multi-gendered, multiracial, differing needs crowd, it seems like a great equalizer.

That’s why we’re all here, in this odd, smelly place littered with medieval/bondage equipment, right? Fitness, strength, weight, appearance, functionality, it doesn’t matter the reason, because when you strip everything down to the primal basics: We don’t want to die.

Except for the lady next to me, because if she keeps talking about her gall bladder surgery to every passerby, so loudly that even blasting Foo Fighters doesn’t block her voice, I’m going to sidekick her into a pile of elliptical machines.

Have a happy Wednesday!

13 Comments on “Brain Blurts on the Treadmill

  1. This really made me smile – I’m having a similar problem at the moment with a fellow commuter – no matter how hard I try and avoid her, I always manage to regularly end up in the same carriage – and what a joy (NOT!) – we get frequent instalments of her raging argument with (I assume) her boyfriend – Darren. Darren appears to be a real piece of work – maybe I should just send him to you to kick into touch!

    And a happy Wednesday to you too!

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    • There is nothing like a confined space to set off the surly meter. I try to remind myself that it’s a learning opportunity to raise my tolerance, but some days, that is simply too much to ask! At 5am at the gym, when I’m barely upright and it’s taken every shred of discipline to get myself there, my tolerance level is nil. I would have been happy to kick Darren this morning!

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  2. Iā€™m going to sidekick her into a pile of elliptical machines.

    Is this one of those reader’s choice endings?

    Ending #1: Michelle is incarcerated… fade to Orange is the New Black.

    Ending #2: A rousing round of applause followed by Michelle being awarded “Y Member of the Year”.

    Liked by 1 person

    • My daughter read this and gave it Ending #3: Mom flies off treadmill trying to execute sidekick while moving.

      I’ve witnessed someone falling off a treadmill and the Y employees’ reaction to it. I’m likely bleeding out or ending up with an amputated limb.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Iā€™m likely bleeding out or ending up with an amputated limb.

        Or worse, the event could be recorded and the video uploaded to YouTube. šŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Anyone who does not realize that 5 a.m. at the gym warrants quiet reflection of the Foo Fighters blaring through ear buds and NOT discussions about removed gall bladders, deserves a methodically and well-placed, pivoted foot side kick into next week. I saw the memo about it. Seriously. šŸ˜‰

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    • That is really the thing. One would think going in at 5am would eliminate some of these irritations. I don’t like going in at that time, because I’m groggy and barely coherent, but some days, that’s the only way to get a workout in. I’m often amazed at how bright-eyed and bushy-tailed some people are at that hour!

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  4. It’s funny how you can go your whole life never hearing a Foo Fighters song…until you stumble on it on someone’s blog.

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