Reading Up, But Writing From Where You Are

I often read material that makes me question my own intelligence. Sometimes it is deliberate and I hunker down with a notebook and work my way through a book or article and hope that I come out the other side with something that will add to my own writing abilities – a new practice, some new vocabulary, a stronger sense of the story that I want to tell. Occasionally, I find myself imitating a voice and I have to write it out of my system until my own voice re-emerges.

canstockphoto8858462Reading has always been the gateway to writing for me, as it is for most writers. It is both solace and teaching tool, the prickly critic’s voice and the admirable storyteller. These days, I’m more deliberate in my choices and I often force march myself through work that is, well…work.

For readers who read for the sheer pleasure of it, force marching oneself through a book sounds painful and unnecessary. For writers, it’s one of the routes to expanding one’s repertoire, vocabulary, style, and rhythm. Some writers read and write exactly what they like. They seem the happiest with their work – the process holds value and pleasure for them. I am the insecure, constantly striving type who spends more time thinking about what kind of writer I should be, instead of working with what’s in front of me. It’s a flaw, but not a fatal one.

75786The forced march through literary canon has inevitably led me to what I think of as dudebro writing. There are several things that characterize dudebro writing in my mind: leaving no amount of minutiae unexplored in the narrative, Gordian knots of literary devices, a rabid fanbase which gives the work a bad name, cardboard female characters, vocabulary that puts things just out of reach of the casual reader, and an unending fascination with all matter of human effluvia. Oh, so you’ve read Infinite Jest too?

I’m sure I’m being reductive. I don’t eschew this sort of writing. There is always something to learn, but it often comes at a price – usually at the cost of the reader’s ego and sometimes at the cost of the story. As a rule, I avoid writing book reviews because I don’t want to see everything through the lens of criticism, nor do I want to diminish someone else’s creative enterprise. It’s hard to write, in a neutral manner, about a book one loathes and admires simultaneously. Recently I finished Brian Birnbaum’s Emerald City, which was sent to me by JKS Communications. I’ve read several debut novels sent from them over the last year or so and it has been a great learning experience.

46362951. sy475 Mr. Birnbaum’s novel carries the definite echoes of David Foster Wallace in the sheer denseness of detail. Usually I take notes while reading and this book made me fill up pages – mostly of vocabulary and terms I hadn’t heard before. If you have one iota of insecurity about your level of intelligence or lean a bit puritanical when it comes to drugs, sex, and bodily fluids, this might be something you pass on. If you like wordplay and densely-packed sentences, are jonesing for DFW prose, and bend a bit toward the salacious, this might be for you.

That sounded like a bit of a review, didn’t it? There’s no accounting for our reading tastes. What appeals to and invigorates one reader, might put another in a coma-like nap. Fortunately, the democratization of publishing leaves room for all manner of writers and readers to find each other (Emerald City comes from the publisher Dead Rabbits, of which the author is a co-founder).

canstockphoto17375275One of the things I’m coming to terms with as a writer, is that I’ve spent far too much time aspiring and not enough time being. Reading tougher work has improved me as a writer, but it has also made me more paranoid about being older, not having an MFA, and not being smart enough to pull off a good bit of literature. My imposter syndrome has gotten more agile and wily. Now, any knowledge I gain from challenging reading serves more as a reminder of how obviously incapable I am of producing good work myself. You’re rockin’ it, imposter syndrome. Bring on the procrastination. We’ll make it a party.

Fall and the start of school is like a second start to the year – a time for clearing out, cleaning up, and getting on with things. Last year, I joined a writing group. This year, I’m doing a little less group and more focused writing, with less judgment and more curiosity. Seeing what is in my writing, not what I think should be. Maybe that will be enough.

If you’re in the mood to read harder, check out Book Riot’s Read Harder Challenge. 2019 is just about up, but keep an eye out in December for the 2020 challenge.

Literary journals have become my not-so-secret pleasure for reading “up”. It’s a lot of bang for the buck – covering a multitude of genres from journalism to poetry. My favorites are the Paris Review, the Virginia Quarterly Review, the Missouri Review, A Public Space, and the Kenyon Review.

8 Comments on “Reading Up, But Writing From Where You Are

  1. Just reading your blog, has “upped” my reading for the week. Glad you came to a good conclusion for yourself. Keep on keeping on.

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  2. Challenging read! You’re an inspiration. I am one of those who reads primarily for pleasure or edification other than writing skills. In fact, except for glorious metaphors, which occasionally give me actual goosebumps, I can be oblivious to writing style. I like it or I don’t. (That can’t be 100% true, though, because sometimes after I’ve listened to an audiobook I find myself thinking, oh that was too well written to have listened to, I should have “read” it.) Unless one gains writing skills by osmosis, I’m afraid I don’t learn what I could from reading. Every winter, I take on a big fat Russian novel for the “up” of it – other than that, I’m a pleasure-reader who also happens to write. I’ll check out Book Riot’s list – thanks!

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    • Sometimes I think my reading borders on masochistic and often negatively impacts my own writing. Often I’ll hear someone go on and on about how much they loved a book. I’ll read it and understand why they have to talk about it – the pride of finishing a torturous work outweighs the work itself!
      I ran across the Book Riot site and got lost there for an hour or two. It’s a fun place to waste time not writing! I tell myself it’s educational.

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  3. I’ve be recommending Fleishman is in Trouble to just about anyone since I finished it last week. It turns dudebro (great term) on its head. It’s funny, clever, raunchy, painful (especially if you’re in a real-life-not-made-for-TV marriage). Read it, enjoy it, then get very depressed that it’s the debut novel of someone young enough to be your daughter.
    I tackled Don Quixote this summer. I haven’t given up (at 350 pages) but I had to take a break.

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    • Don Quixote is in my stack and I keep putting it off. Even longer, after this last read, which was exhausting. I might check out your recommendation – I could do with some reading that has humor.

      I try not to get too dissuaded by the age thing. I rationalize that early success must suck, because now everything you do from that point forward is loaded with strangers’ expectations. Late success might be nice – going out on a high note and all.

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