Flu as Poetic Inspiration

When I get sick, things get very, very dark in my mind. I spiral downward into the morose thoughts of a depressive, luxuriating in my misery, knowing it is likely temporary. In the throes of corporeal suffering, I often turn to poetry. Poetry seems to speak when my sore, raspy throat produces nothing but squawks. Mysterious, isn’t it? A turn of light Above some stumpy Mountain, The way a screen porch Frames a bunch of haggard trees, The way we squint At what we love. “Honeymoon” by Cornelius Eady Hardheaded Weather Between… Read More

No Butts About It: Fetishization of the Human Body

Pop culture never ceases to amaze with its weirdness. The latest craze is an oiled up naked butt picture of Kim Kardashian. My first thought was that she needs a shower with some really good mechanic’s degreaser. She’s not going to be able to sit anywhere for days without leaving an oily butt print. I hope that dress wasn’t a loaner. I’m not as fascinated with the human body as I was for that five minutes in 1987. While I’ve enjoyed the giggle fest that is taking a couple of 10-year-olds to… Read More

Surviving the Holidays: An Introvert’s Guide

It happened in rapid succession. The emails landed with a resounding thud on my psyche today. “Hello Everyone, We’re thinking that for Thanksgiving…” and “I know it’s early, but we’d like to coordinate the family Christmas…” I am an introvert. I find human contact only manageable in small doses, before I need to run away to a dark hidey-hole to process the interaction. Extended family celebrations, with the enforced captivity, doubly so. If you’ve been reading this blog over the last few weeks, you know I’ve been finding my middle-aged spine. It’s… Read More

The Green Study’s Guide to Good Manners (or How Not to Get Eaten)

“My, grandma, what big teeth you have!” Seriously, Little Red Riding Hood, who taught you manners? She deserved to be eaten by the big bad wolf. Of course, if manners determined who would or would not get eaten by carnivores, the overpopulation problem would become a thing of the past. When, on this planet, did it become de rigeur to comment on people’s physical appearance in the course of daily life? I’ve been the object of as well as witness to this kind of discourse between humans. It usually earns the purveyor… Read More

Slippery Pistons and Fiery Cupcakes of Love: Writing Sex Scenes

As I continue to write my second novel, I’ve stumbled into a patch of writing ground that makes me giggle like a 10-year-old or mutter “that’s just gross” under my breath to no one in particular. It is never my intent to write about love or sex, here, there or anywhere, but human relationships apparently involve a lot of both ingredients. And unfortunately, both my novels seem to include humans. If writing what I know is key to authenticity, I am, to use an obvious pun, totally screwed. Not to put too… Read More

Spammer Seeks Roommate with Problems

Every once in a while, I scan the spam comments that this blog receives. If anyone can over-think a spam comment, it is yours truly. With the guess that many of our spammers originate from countries where English is not a primary language, I am baffled by their opinions of Americans. We are apparently a helpful bunch of clods as entreaties for roommates and brothers with problems fill our spam boxes. We are also quite narcissistic and nothing pleases our peacock brains more than compliments about our skillful writing, that can be… Read More

Six Degrees of Virtue: Hypocrites Au Naturel

The dexterity with which we distance ourselves from others can be quite amazing. In conversation with a friend I said, “I never wear makeup or style my hair.” I said it as a matter of pride, as if it were a display of moral fortitude, that I had somehow defied the cultural norm and become a rebel without mascara. She looked askance at me and said “When was the last time you dyed your hair?” I burst out laughing at my foolishness. “I don’t eat at McDonald’s.” McDonald’s either has a subversive,… Read More

Middle Age, I Surrender

I stood in the checkout lane yesterday, getting groceries in anticipation of the polar vortex reclaiming the metro area. My eyes scanned the covers of magazines, trying to land on something of interest. I didn’t recognize any of the people on the covers. You know the jig is up when you realize that you’ve just been reading magazines for the coupons. It’s begun. I’m in a battle for personal relevancy, timely quipping and hip, in-the-know conversations at bus stops. It isn’t the shape-shifting gravity of aging that gets me. I won’t whinge… Read More

An Audience of Editors

In my last post, I incorrectly attributed a quote, due to quick and shallow internet research. I was corrected by a reader and removed the quote, with my face burning and stomach in knots.¬† I wasn’t just corrected, I felt upbraided and dressed down and my reaction was anger and embarrassment. I started writing about it and magically, it became this post. It’s a risky business, writing out loud. Not just because you put pieces of yourself out into the world, but because everybody is an editor or a critic. You make… Read More

Freshly Pressed…Shameless Vulgarity and Ingratitude

Just a word of thanks to WordPress and readers/visitors for the recent Freshly Pressed attention for 50 Shades of Blue: The Use of Profanity at The Green¬†Study. I think it bodes well for my writing career that my highlighted posts involve internal name calling, getting a tattoo and now this classic – a piece I ended with the sentence “I hear the writer is a complete asshole.” My family, if any of them knew how to use the internet thingy, would be so proud. This has been an enjoyable experience and I… Read More