No Butts About It: Fetishization of the Human Body

Pop culture never ceases to amaze with its weirdness. The latest craze is an oiled up naked butt picture of Kim Kardashian. My first thought was that she needs a shower with some really good mechanic’s degreaser. She’s not going to be able to sit anywhere for days without leaving an oily butt print. I hope that dress wasn’t a loaner.

I’m not as fascinated with the human body as I was for that five minutes in 1987. While I’ve enjoyed the giggle fest that is taking a couple of 10-year-olds to an art museum, I’m finding the fascination with bodies and porn star sexuality a little tiresome. Social media’s focus on Ms. Kardashian’s keister seems to have no end.

Butts are poop hole covers. And regardless of all the human sexual proclivities, buttocks also house major muscle groups that allow us to run, kick, support our posture while walking on two legs and provide padding for the inordinate amount of sitting we do. So first and foremost, butts are utilitarian and do not exist as separate entities from the rest of our body.

Would you like to see my collection?
Would you like to see the rest of my collection? Let’s go down to my cellar. I don’t do a show of arms for just anybody. You’re special.

Secondly, regarding humans as disembodied parts is weird – like serial killer weird. People say things like “he/she has a nice butt/ass” and I wonder if they’re planning on starting a collection. I like my husband’s hands, but I really, really like the fact that they are attached to him. I would not like them so much in a display case or on another person.

It’s difficult to separate sexuality from an artistic admiration of the human form, because marketing and pornography have so twisted and conflated the two. Between surgical and digital alterations, it’s hard to recognize that the human form, in its unaltered state, serves a more important purpose than appearance.

Perhaps it seems sour grapes from a middle-aged broad who has never conformed to nor been capable of conforming to cultural ideas of beauty, but I don’t envy beauty – it carries its own burden. What I lack in surface glam, I have in the ability to see people for their personality, character and compassion. Yeah, right – I’m all character. Catcall that.

Being seen as beautiful does not preclude one from having good character and being culturally unattractive is not automatically a sign of having a “nice personality”. I think we can all agree that there are people on both sides of the fence who we’d rather not invite over for dinner.

I would not invite Ms. Kardashian over for dinner. First of all, I don’t know anything about her, except what her poop hole cover looks like. But more importantly, I’d have to put plastic slipcovers on all the furniture.

Administrative Note: The Green Study “What’s on the B Side of that 45?” Contest is revving up with some very thoughtful entries! You have until Sunday, December 7th, 2014, 12:00 pm (US Standard Central Time) to get your entry submitted.

P.S.  The combination of thoughts about oiled butts and plastic furniture covers, combined with my middle aged angst, brought this song to mind: