Blah-gging: In Search of the Joy

The upcoming new year also coincides with the two year mark for this blog. For the last few months, I’ve felt fairly disconnected from the blogging world. Online friendships have ebbed and waned. The writing has a joyless edge to it. I’ve started feeling envy for those bloggers who have so immersed themselves in this world that their tendrils of communication are seen everywhere. Like offline friendships, I am slow to warm, tentative to trust, unable to fight my own nature of needing to observe before engaging. It’s too slow a pace… Read More

Goal Disoriented

It’s been several weeks since I was last employed, having left my job ostensibly to become a writer or at least follow the shallow continuum of being a writer. We won’t talk about the number of days in which I gave up personal hygiene or watched Netflix until my eyes bled. I keep telling myself that I’m in transition. It sounds nice. Like I’m going somewhere. Eventually. The time has come for me to locate those proverbial bootstraps and pull myself up and out of the shallow end of the pool. I’m… Read More

Giving Up the Ghost

I’m a useful sort of person. It feeds my ego to be needed, to be relied upon, to be allowed to demonstrate my competency. My office is organized, collated, labelled and efficient. I remember birthdays, dental appointments and people’s preferences. On the flip side, I’m tense, terse and occasionally quite sarcastic. I don’t wait for others to catch up. I don’t have time for small talk or nattering or gossip. Which means you’d like me to do your taxes, but really hope I don’t show up for a party, where I will… Read More

Being Wanda Q

As I work on my outline for my 2nd novel (NaNoWriMo is here soon!), I am pondering how far a writer should go for authenticity. My first novel, Phoenix Rock, is still in play, as I drag myself inch by inch through re-writes. It was a nightmarish soap opera by the end, with a dysfunctional family perpetuating murder and mayhem. It started out as a character study. Obviously I got a little bored with it and felt compelled to kill off a few characters. I was excited about my second novel –… Read More

An Audience of Editors

In my last post, I incorrectly attributed a quote, due to quick and shallow internet research. I was corrected by a reader and removed the quote, with my face burning and stomach in knots.  I wasn’t just corrected, I felt upbraided and dressed down and my reaction was anger and embarrassment. I started writing about it and magically, it became this post. It’s a risky business, writing out loud. Not just because you put pieces of yourself out into the world, but because everybody is an editor or a critic. You make… Read More

Snipe Hunting for Writers

Ever since I learned to read, I’ve wanted to be a writer. For years, I’d daydream and talk about writing, but it was fantasy. It took a dash of midlife angst to make me, the Writer, a reality. In the last two years, I started writing for this blog and finished the first draft of a novel. It feels like I’m getting close to something. Or at the very least, I’m in the process of becoming something. I used to imagine myself as a writer, hunched over a little wooden desk, pen… Read More

50 Shades of Blue: The Use of Profanity at The Green Study

A friend of a friend was directed to my blog. Her first comment, after reading one of my posts, was, “she uses a lot of foul language”.  All that writing, all that effort and her takeaway was the occasional swear word? I’ve wrestled for years with my propensity towards the profane. As a parent, I managed to go the first 7 or 8 years of my daughter’s life without swearing in front of her. Lately, that’s been slipping, as I’ve struggled with health issues and exhaustion – just too tired of trying… Read More

The Dog Days of Blogging

The Green Study is on hiatus until September. As the smell of tar drifts in through open windows and the cicadas drone on, I wrestle with decisions and consequences. Anyone who has read this blog for any amount of time, knows this is a constant state for me – the wrangling of life out loud, never settled, never quite comfortable. I started writing for this blog in January of 2012. The intent was to get in the practice of writing out loud. I went quietly about my business, writing about things that… Read More

The Green Study Hits the Road, Jack

In preparation for a very long road trip to see family, I’ve packed the following necessary items: One front seat driver who believes there is no need to ask for directions, but constantly insists that I’m going the wrong way. One mini-me who will immediately alert me from the backseat whenever the speedometer number is bigger than the posted signs. A lot of dysfunctional baggage,  so that anything my family of origin says will immediately irritate me, no matter how innocuous. One large bottle of Tums to counter bad road food. One… Read More

So I Wrote a Novel…and Then I Avoided It Like the Plague

And one day, when I’m mere ashes being transported in a tacky vase to my destination of choice (my reading chair, of course), they will rifle through my meager possessions to find a two inch black binder covered in a thin layer of dust and decorated with geometric coffee rings on every other page. There will be notes in red ink hastily scrawled along the margins: Geez, time travel much? Get Strunk and possibly White, this grammar stinks! Schedule mammogram. Look up spelling of onomonopea omonomopia. Bread, milk, canola oil, trail mix… Read More